What fatherhood taught me about God

John Moore/Getty Images The notion of God the father, or God as father, can be found in many traditions. Central … Continued

John Moore/Getty Images

The notion of God the father, or God as father, can be found in many traditions. Central to many Christian theologies, and often present in Jewish liturgy, the idea invites many possibilities not all of them necessarily positive, but all especially powerful as the nation celebrates Father’s Day.

I am not suggesting that people bring Father’s Day cards to church or synagogue in the way that children send letters to Santa at the North Pole. I do however think that in addition to being a time to focus on how well we fulfill half of the 5th of the Ten Commandments, Father’s Day invites us to think about what it means to think of God as father.

To some extent, my guess about how one reacts to the metaphor or reality take your pick as to which it is has more to do, with how one thinks about fathers in general, and their own father in particular, than about God. Perhaps that is why the language resonates both so deeply and so well with me.

My own father, who died almost five months ago, was a loving and beloved man. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t perfect, and we had our share of challenging times, but neither my love for him, nor his for me, was ever in question for either of us. So, for me to think of God as father is actually a tribute to both God and to my dad, of blessed memory.

That said, for us to think of God exclusively, or even primarily, as father is not sufficient, certainly not for those of us who think of God as infinite. It’s a lesson that is especially precious to me being that I am the father of three wonderful daughters daughters who are every bit as much created in the image of God, even though they will never be fathers, as are boys who may be. It’s a lesson I learned the first time that I held our eldest child while praying, and referring as I did so, to God as Heavenly Father.

Holding that little baby, now a 19-year-old young woman, as I praised God as father, I knew two things. First, I knew that the language still worked for me, especially as I found myself appreciating more deeply than ever before, the unique privilege, challenge and opportunity of fatherhood. I actually felt closer to God in a whole new way, because now I was living out, along with God, what it means to be a dad.

I knew in that moment, more deeply than ever, that the language of God as father is a gift. I also knew in that moment, more deeply than ever, that it was only one part of the reality called God one which could also include God as mother and would need to do so, so that the baby I was holding could one day feel what I was feeling.

I am not arguing for any specific theological or liturgical position here, at least not beyond the willingness to appreciate that the one-ness of God — whether as one and only one, or three that are one — can only be felt when we realize the truth of God as father, God as mother, and as so many others too. That appreciation allows both Father’s Day and Mother’s Day to remind us not only about the sacredness of parents, but of all the wonderful ways we can open ourselves to the ultimate parent one who we can experience as father and as mother.

It’s not about it being either/or, but a deep awareness of it being both/and. That’s the true gift of an infinite and inexhaustible God, be it on Father’s Day, Mother’s day, or any other day of the year.

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Brad Hirschfield An acclaimed author, lecturer, rabbi, and commentator on religion, society and pop culture, Brad Hirschfield offers a unique perspective on the American spiritual landscape and political and social trends to audiences nationwide.
  • ccnl1

    What my father taught me? Never trust a rabbi who rips off his “non-profits” for $400,000 a year!!!

  • Rongoklunk

    When man invented God it was partly because man was a boy once, and the boy had a father. And when the boy became a man and his father died, he would always feel that HE was still alive – watching over him somehow.
    Enter the great invisible skydaddy. I don’t know who the first God was but Zeus will do, so will Huitzilopochtli, or Thor. What we know for sure is that we humans invented more than 3500 Gods. Freud was right. God is daddy.


    So we’re all just selfish idol making machines that evolved by luck/chance from pond scum into monkeys and then man with no designer or hope? No thanks, that’s a nutty religion that’s intellectually dishonest and based on missing links that are still missing and ruining society-turn on the news!! In God we should trust!

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