Going through divorce 10 years ago, I knew that only God could help me make sense of–and make it through–what to me was a senseless situation. Certain scriptures carried me as I struggled with divorce’s challenges. I shared those scriptures in my novel, “Land Mines,” which shows how a woman navigates divorce and rebuilds her life. Hopefully, these scriptures and reflections will help you, too.
1. Trust in the lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3: 3-5 NKJV).
I broke this scripture’s reflections into four parts.
First, trust in a sovereign God and his mercy and control of all things is one of the paramount teachings of our Christian faith. In divorce, now aware that you can’t trust in your spouse and often feeling that you can’t trust yourself, sometimes all you can do is trust God.
Second, during divorce, you often ask: “What did I do wrong? Why didn’t God tell me to do something differently? Why me?” Don’t worry yourself sick trying to understand everything. God understands. Trust that he’s working all things together for your good.
Third, God wants to help you in and through everything. Nothing is too small to take to him in prayer.
Fourth, you must make many decisions, but your mind is often jumbled. God will tell you what to do–as that still, small voice, hunch or intuition, or through a person or a situation. Shall is mandatory.
2. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O man, whether you will save your wife? But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk (I Corinthians 7: 15-17 NKJV).
I interpreted this lifesaving scripture as: if your husband leaves, let him! He doesn’t believe, and you can’t change him. God has given him free will. We’re not called to suffer in such situations–we are called to have peace. Don’t beat yourself up for something that is–and always was–out of your control.
3. But my God shall supply all your need. . . (Philippians 4:19 KJV).
When you feel that you need anything, remember this. Stand on it when you’re afraid, anxious, and have no idea how you’ll be able to take care of yourself and your children.
4. Under three things the earth trembles, under four it cannot bear up. A servant who becomes king, a fool who is full of food, an unloved woman who is married, and a maidservant who displaces her mistress (Proverbs 30: 21-23 NIV).
The New International Version of Proverbs 30 floored me because I often thought of myself as an “unloved woman who is married.” A married woman’s foundation is shaken if she’s not loved. This scripture shows that the world’s is, too.
My Bible said many women compare themselves to the Proverb 31 superwoman and feel sad because they don’t measure up to her. Women who compare themselves to the Proverbs 30 woman feel sad because they are her.
5. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not thy teachers be removed in a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers. And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left. Isaiah 30: 20-21 (KJV).
Even though you’re going through adversity and affliction and may feel lost, God will whisper in your ear with divine guidance, telling you where to go and what to do.
6. Romans 8, particularly verses 28, 31, 32, 35-39.
When I understood Romans 8, I felt victorious. This chapter explains how God sent his son Jesus to overcome the law and give us grace, everlasting life, and good things. What was I complaining about? The chapter ends with the assurance that nothing shall be able to separate us from the love of God. I realized that I would feel and be all right if I just kept my eye, mind and heart on God.